I’m not going to talk about obvious stuff like marrying an ex-hoe and becoming her ticket to a better life.
Tons of women are hoes and you have to be careful to not marrying them. That’s obvious although many men (especially Indians) are highly delusional about the quality of the women of their country.
I’ve talked about that before and it’s a horse that’s been beaten to death. If you still somehow missed the primer on that read the many pieces I’ve linked above and you’ll get the message.
In this piece I want to talk about something different – a very common mistake that a lot of upper class men make in their marriage:
The Mistake is Marrying an Ungrateful And Entitled Woman
Given a choice between an ungrateful and entitled virgin and a grateful and non-entitled woman with a past relationship in her life, I’d pick the latter.
Yes ideally you should a woman who is both pure and grateful, but I want to make it clear that how a woman treats you (her gratefulness) is more important than her past (her purity), even though both things are important.
You can get over a woman’s past but you can’t get over daily entitlement and bad behavior from a woman you live with. It makes your life hell.
If you are an upper class man, chances are that you are going to marry an upper class woman who comes from an upper class family.
It is very rare for a man who drives a Mercedes to marry a woman who has never sat in a car. It happens but it’s quite rare. If you are upper class, the chances are that you will marry an upper class woman.
A doctor might marry another doctor or a nurse but he sure as hell isn’t marrying a waitress at a Tibetan momo restaurant.
Upper middle class and above women are far more likely to be ungrateful and entitled
Most upper middle class and above women have very little hardships in life. They’ve never had to work for anything and have spent most of their life enjoying what their parent’s money can purchase for them.
This is what life looks like for most upper middle class and above women:
- Born
- Go to school
- Don’t have to study hard because don’t have to work in the future
- Spend most of their teens and 20s gossiping, partying, shopping, etc.
- Live life as “daddy’s princess” and have things handed to you (many of my upper class clients pay their daughter’s rent and send her an allowance)
- Get some boyfriends but it never “works out” (or was “toxic” – every player knows what that means)
- Ask daddy to get you an arranged marriage
- Daddy finds you a nice upper middle class beta male
- Go from living off dad to living off husband
- Never does any work but acts like she’s “equal” to her husband despite depending on him in every way
This is not always true but is usually the case.
Fun fact: People who always get what they want without having to put serious effort to get it become ungrateful and entitled over time. They take other people’s effort for granted and think everyone is supposed to give them things for nothing in return.
You marry a woman who’s had a life like this and you’re going to get lots of “expectations” without getting service in return.
From her perspective that was built over her life experiences, she’s owed love, money, affection, attention, shopping, vacations, freedom, and everything else from you.
She feels entitled to all of these things just for existing and feels no need to have to earn them. Or even to be thankful to you for providing them.
There is zero gratefulness that you as a man have to work hard and make time to provide her with a good life because she feels like you owe it to her just because you married her.
At the same time she will blame you for any perceived failures in providing her something she wants because she is “supposed to” get whatever she wants. She always did before she got married, and she doesn’t now, so the problem is clearly you.
She brings nothing to the table except her body and her “expectations” of you. She considers you “her equal” even though she does not contribute equally to the household (either in terms of money or taking the responsibility of managing the household – the chores and children).
She considers housework to be beneath her (fit for “maids”) and lacks the skills to earn a decent income and usually does not even want to work.
Basically these women turn the marriage into something like this:
You do all the toil and earn money to provide for me. I hire a maid with your money for all chores and do nothing at home. If I do work, it is my choice and I make 30% of your what you make. But my money is my money.
I expect you to take me on a few vacations each year and regularly give me money for shopping and enjoyment.
Of course I am equal to you in any way and it would be “regressive and sexist” for you to think otherwise. (I will shame you if you don’t agree.)
If you have any semblance of self-respect and are unwilling to become a slave, this is unworkable and will lead to fights.
I see it happen all the time. The couple either “makes do” or gets divorced. It happens and it’s not pretty.
An entitled woman is a parenting failure on the part of her father (who gave her whatever she wanted without any work and challenges she got to grow from).
If you marry such a woman, you are going to be saddled with her father’s mistakes. He made the mistakes but you bear the burdens of it for the rest of your life. It is a bad deal. Don’t do it.
Give the entitled ungrateful woman the husband she deserves – NONE.
How You Can Avoid This Mistake
Now let’s be real – if you’re upper class, you’re not going to marry some low wage menial labourer. It can happen but it’s so rare it’s not worth discussing.
You’re going to marry a woman somewhere around your social status, either on the same level or one level lower.
You have to learn to figure out which upper class woman is non-entitled and would make a good wife.
How do you do that? There are a few heuristics.
In general, an upper middle class and above woman does not face hardships in their general course of life (as explained above).
Any hardship they suffered would be one they voluntarily inflicted upon themselves (or by their father). A woman choosing to inflict hardships upon herself to get better is a very good sign of being non-entitled.
You have to analyze her past and see what she could have done that would have put her through pain and suffering and made her a better person.
This could be:
- Sports: Women who have played and excelled at sports since they were young generally understand that success requires work and does not come for free. They are not entitled.
- Women who had a bad breakup: Now this is for the westerners who can’t hope to find virgin wives. A woman who had her heart broken appreciates a man who loves her more than a woman who has no negative experiences. It makes them kinder and more grateful towards what you do for her.
- Built a business: A woman who built a business from nothing (not something that was handed to her from her family) appreciates the value of work and money.
- Academic achievement: She has some hard to get degree that she had to work for. This is a sign that she didn’t waste most of her time on nonsense and actually did some work to earn a degree. It cannot be a degree that is easy to get. It needs to be hard and require grueling amounts of work.
- Other things that show that she put herself through pain over long periods of time to achieve something. And didn’t just have life handed to her on a platter.
Now let’s be clear – these are heuristics.
There can be women with none of these traits and still not be entitled and make a good wife, and there can be women with all of these traits and still be an entitled brat.
You still have to use your brains and figure out what you’re dealing with.
I will also caution you that too much hardship tends to masculinize women. It makes them rough and boyish. They start speaking like a truck driver and lose their feminine charms.
You want to avoid masculine women because they are not women at heart (even if they have a sexy body). Such a woman will not make a good wife.
There’s a golden mean of hardship that matures a woman and makes her kinder/less entitled/more grateful but does not masculinize her.
Look for a woman that fits that golden mean.
As with everything else, experience helps.
Note: I deliberately use crass language as a warning to my thousands of female readers of how lots of men in the dating market behave.
If you’re a guy who’s never been with a woman (which is often the case in arranged marriages), you are not going to have enough experience to make good judgement.
You need to have dated at least a few girls to recognize the patterns of female behaviour and to be able to spot the red and green flags.
As a man in the modern world, you MUST date a few girls before you even think of marriage.
Don’t be the beta male who can’t get girls and then comes up with mental gymnastics about why he shouldn’t date (“it’s not moral”, “I will not get career success because of women”, etc.)
Sex is not success but lack of experience with women can definitely fuck you up in the long run.
In fact, in the modern day, it usually does.
I pumped and dumped TONS of girls before I got married. Yes – I fucked them for a few weeks to months and then I left them when I was bored of them.
I was always 100% honest with the women (I never offered or dangled commitment) and they still got naked for me. They had degrading sex with me and entertained me until I found a different girl of my liking.
In fact, many of them were obsessed with me and called me up many years later to “meet up”. You know what that means.
(Most men need to learn how to make women obsessed with you. It is a skill that pays off manifold.)
Do you know what happened to most of these women I pumped and dumped? They married some guy with a job and a degree and no experience with women.
And the degenerate things they did for my pleasure, they never did for their beta male husbands. This is simply how women behave – you have to get their inner sluttiness out of them. Inexperienced beta males can’t do that.
How do I know they are prudes to their husbands? Because one of them told me. I dated her a few years ago and she messaged me out of nowhere to “meet up” and I agreed.
We had a date where she told me she’s married but her husband wasn’t “man enough”. I know what she was trying to do (and no I didn’t sleep with her after that – simply did not feel right).
My point is that this poor dude who married this girl works hard every day and sacrifices to provide her with a good life. In return she doesn’t have sex with him and tries to secretly cheat on him with me.
I saw a picture of the dude on her Instagram later and he was a total beta male.
If he had improved himself before marrying (maybe by taking my Live Intentionally: 90 Day Self-Improvement Program) and dated a few girls, he would have recognized that this girl was trash and would not have married her.
Build your body. You don’t need looks and money to get a woman in your bed but it definitely helps.
Learn how to cold approach girls. It will do a lot for your personality even if you never get great at it.
Fire up Bumble or whatever dating app is popular in your area and see that many women of today are on them.
I’m not talking about “sluts” – I mean normal women of normal everyday households.
The type of women that you might actually marry. And then end up in the same situation as the poor beta male with a wife trying to “meet up” with one of her former lovers.
You MUST get experience with women so you can avoid this terrible fate. And let’s be real – having a wife you spent years on cheating on you is a terrible thing to happen to anyone.
And quite honestly, I’ve never understood why some beta males are so resistant to improve their game and dating skills. Unlike learning many other things in life, learning game is not hard or grueling. It’s a lot of fun and you will get a lot of pleasure (literally) in the process.
If you don’t know where to start, here are two of the best resources:
- Read The Book of Pook (Old book written before texting and online dating were a thing. Covers mostly mindset stuff. Life changing read for many.)
- Get Seduction Bible (Best modern resource on the subject and regularly updated).
The first book is completely free and hosted by yours truly as a public service.
The second book is not authored by me and is a paid resource (although well worth the money in my opinion). I don’t recommend a product on my website lightly. His course is truly very good.
I reached out to Masculinity Rediscovered and you can now get both books as a bundle here.
Whatever you do, just make sure that you marry right. If you go in green and mess it up, you will regret it for the rest of your life.
– Harsh Strongman
