Lots of “life issues” are the same personality problems showing up in different parts of your life.
The good news is that once you fix them, all areas of your life will see significant improvement.
Here’s a list of general personality problems I’ve observed in people:
1) Anger Issues
This is probably the #1 personality issue that will cause you problems everywhere in your life.
Frequently getting angry at your wife, your employees, random staff at restaurants, etc. will mess up your relationships, make quality labor quit (and shitty workers stay because they don’t have better options), get waiters to spit in your food, etc.
Remember, anger is supposed to be a tool used sparingly to show disapproval and get people to correct their ways. If you use it too much, people just stop caring and start resenting you and your authority.
2) Speaking too much
Some people just don’t know when to shut up. They keep talking and talking and talking and it causes everyone to start disrespecting them. People who speak too much lose “gravitas” (seriousness/dignity) and appear common.
If you speak a lot, it signals that your words are lightweight and of not much value (lots of supply = lack of scarcity = low value). Things that are of not much value get abused and disrespected.
Learn to not speak too much and let other people talk. When you don’t speak a lot, people instinctively treat you with more respect.
Neediness is when you lack something, want it badly, and it shows up in your behavior.
It makes you “try too hard” and appear weak. “Desperation stinks” as the women say.
The neediness could be regarding anything – women, money, attention, etc.
The moment people detect you’re needy, they will instinctively try to exploit you.
For example, if you’re a freelancer a prospect detects that you need money – good luck getting paid a lot for the project. They will low-ball you and not budge.
When a woman detects you’re needy, she assumes you’re low value (Women have circular logic – they want guys other women want. If a guy needs women, it means other women don’t want him, which means “there must be something wrong with him”).
Many oblivious guys notice this in action: When they’re single, no women want them. When they’re in a relationship, suddenly all the women are interested. Why? They stopped acting needy.
You need to fix neediness the moment you detect it in yourself. We all want something but it’s important that it doesn’t show up in our behavior. Let people earn your validation.
Don’t just be giving people your time and attention like a dog desperate for a treat. The world isn’t kind and everyone exploits the needy – even good people.
This is similar to neediness but here you crave recognition and approval from people.
You want everyone to know you are talented/rich/smart or possess some trait.
You try too hard to let everyone know that you have it.
We all know the guy who keeps talking about himself and his achievements and gets butthurt if anyone questions them.
Or the girl who makes a big deal about being hot/sexy but breaks down at the first neg.
Insecurity is a weakness because it exposes you to flattery and negs.
If you crave that people think of you as intelligent, then people will manipulate you by calling you intelligent (flattery) just to get favors from you.
Or they will make you feel unintelligent (negs) to destroy your confidence.
Or they will manipulate your insecurity to get you to chase validation from them (eg. your boss giving you hard tasks then praising you as intelligent so you work even harder like a dog).
Learn to feel secure in yourself or you will have a massive weakness which people can exploit to get what they want out of you.
This is 10x true if you’re a woman. Women are much more prone to insecurity. Men will figure out what you’re insecure about and will use that to flatter or neg you (make you chase their validation) to get you to do things for them.
You have been warned.
5) Lack of discipline and willpower
Discipline and willpower affect everything.
Whether you succeed at work, at the gym, in your life – if you have unbreakable willpower and discipline, you can do anything.
Fortunately, if you’re lacking in this department, you just need to take the Live Intentionally: 90 Day Self-Improvement Program and it will turn you into a strong and disciplined warrior.
6) Lack of self-confidence
Also known as being a little b*tch – it’s where you don’t do things you want to do because you lack “confidence”.
It could be something as simple as not asking a hot girl out, to pitching an additional service to a client, or not increasing the weight on the bar when you could have.
A lack of confidence in yourself will cost you a lot of money, women, and other opportunities.
It will prevent you from taking shots and getting lucky. You will never get a “lucky break” because you won’t take the shot.
The fix is simple: If you lack confidence, then do it without confidence. But do it.
Another common personality flaw that will affect your life negatively in all dimensions.
When you are impatient, you say and do things without thinking them through.
This leads to failures and blowback where there should have been success and prosperity.
Trying to take the girl home too soon, asking for a raise right after joining, pitching more stuff to a client before they’ve gotten very happy with your work, etc. – all of this leads to getting NOs (not what you want).
You need learn to let the situation mature and not be hasty.
This doesn’t mean you become passive and let opportunities pass, it means you are tactful aren’t hasty.
8) Being unable to match the vibe
It is a mark of wisdom to know how to act in any situation.
There are times where you should be very serious (work meetings, funerals, etc.) and times when you should be relaxed and fun (parties, dates, etc.).
Some people cannot figure out that you need to change your vibe and demeanor to match the mood of the situation.
You don’t be in “serious mode” at a party and be in “chill mode” when you’re working.
You have to know how to match the vibe of the place so you can enjoy where you are without getting frustrated.
9) Too much ego
People who act like “ego is the enemy” are dumb and don’t understand that the reason you have an ego is because you need it to survive.
Your ego prevents people from taking you for granted, walking all over you like a doormat, and from using you for their ends.
However, too much ego is a bad thing because it gets in your own way.
- Being too egotistical to listen to a woman even when she’s right (although it can be rare depending on the woman, sometimes what a woman is saying might be worth listening to)
- Having too much ego to let a client win the argument when he’s wrong (you get nothing by winning arguments with clients)
- Not being willing to do business with someone just because you had a falling out with them (If the money is good enough, you should take it. Just make them pay for for the annoyance. Business is business.)
You must be aware of your ego and know when having it is in your benefit and when it’s getting in the way.
All of these things are personality issues that show up in all areas of life and start ruining them.
If you spot them, it’s time to fix them. Once you fix them, you will see significant improvements everywhere.
That’s all for today.
Hope this helps.