How to Approach a Girl (Cold Approach and Texting Advice)

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You see a hot girl that you want to go out with. Do you approach her and ask for her number or do you get intimidated and chicken out?

Do you take the chance or do you get scared and rationalize it later?

If you’re a regular LMM reader, you’re probably bold and go for it. If not, you need to stop being a wimp and go talk to her. At the worst, you’ll get a no (who cares).

Here’s how to approach hot girls:

How to Approach a Girl
(The 5 Steps to Get Lots of Numbers and Dates)

STEP 1: Approach from the front and give her a smile to gauge her interest.

Not a huge smile, just a quick one that you’d do for someone you knew.

If she smiles back, she is open to being approached. If she doesn’t and ignores you, she’s not going to be receptive to you talking to her.

A woman who doesn’t even return a smile simply isn’t interested.

The problem could be you not looking attractive enough, or it could be her already dating someone or married, or be in a bad mood, or might just be one of those introvert types who doesn’t want to talk to anyone.

A smile back is typically a sign of someone who will be receptive to you talking to them.

Smiling back is a sign of social availability. Women who do not smile back are uninterested, in a bad mood, or unavailable.

Note: Do not talk to women who are wearing headphones. They simply aren’t in the moment and do not want to talk to anyone.

STEP 2: Ask a question or give a compliment.

Very simple – Ask a question or give a compliment. This is just an excuse to start a conversation.

The question/compliment depends on the situation.

If you’re in a socially warm environment (like an event, party, some class, etc.) it could be something as simple as “I like your dress. What’s your name?” or “Hey, how are you?”.

In socially warm environments, people are expecting to be talked to by strangers and you don’t need to worry about freaking her out.

In socially cold environments (malls, grocery stores, on the street, etc.) you need to start with something relevant.

For example, if you’re waiting for the bus at the bus stand, just look at her, smile, and if she smiles back, say something like “What a hot day!”.

She’ll respond with something like “yeah it is” and then you can say “Do you normally travel by bus? Are they usually on time?”

Open up the conversation and let her respond.

STEP 3: Talk for some time and ask for her number as you leave.

Make a small conversation with her for the time you are together.

For example, if you both are waiting at the airport, just spend 10-15 minutes sitting and talking. Tell her about your journeys, ask about hers, etc.

Try to get her to keep talking most of the time. The more she talks, the more invested she gets.

If she is receptive she will converse with you, and is she is not, she will give you 1 word answers, look at her phone, and seem like she wants to leave.

If she talks with you in a friendly way, ask for her phone number as you leave.

“I would love to see you again. Can I get your number?”

It’s that simple. You won’t always get her phone number but it’s a numbers game.

It’s completely OK to ask for a girl’s number. You are a MAN. Never act like your penis doesn’t exist. You’re a man who’s interested in a woman and there’s nothing wrong with asking for what you want. Don’t be the pathetic loser who does “friends first“.

When you get her number, tell her that you will text/WhatsApp her your name. This gets your WhatsApp chat started (as she will text back her name).

Depending on how good you look and how good your social skills are, you might get a girl’s number maybe 10-50% of the time.

This of course assumes you aren’t a weirdo and you’re talking to women who seem available in the dating scene (looks modern, no ring, not wearing religious clothing, etc.).

STEP 4: Chat with her on WhatsApp/text.

The next day, chat with her a bit on WhatsApp or text (whatever is normal in the place you live). Keep it lighthearted and fun.

Remember she gave you her number so she’s interested in going out with you – she will talk with you.

Here is an example conversation. Me and my friend met this girl at a bus stand right before a trek. I talked with her for a grand total of 10 minutes and just asked for her number.

The context is that it was her first trek and she was scared of falling/dying.
If a girl is interested, she will not ignore your messages even if you respond late or ignore her.

Advice on Texting Women

  1. Start with your name. When you get her number, tell her you will WhatsApp your name to her. She will WhatsApp her name back and that gets your conversation started.
  2. Don’t sound too eager. This will make her even more interested in you as you are instantly different from most guys (not desperate).
  3. Take your time to reply. Don’t leave instant replies all the time because it makes her think you have nothing going on.
  4. Play the situation in your favor. She already thinks you are exciting and “good with women” (because you managed to get her number). Even if you’re not, act like you are and it has the same effect.
  5. Don’t reveal too much and give hints that your life is interesting – this makes the really want you. Drop some hints, leave a lot of blanks, and leave the rest to the woman’s imagination – she’ll fill it all in with lots of color.
  6. Don’t say anything negative and don’t bring up any political or controversial topics.
  7. Most importantly: Don’t give off a serious person vibe. You are a fun cool guy she gave her number to remember. If everything goes well you will both have lots of sex and fun. Don’t act like “good guy boyfriend material” (BORING!) because that makes women delay sex because they don’t want you thinking that she’s a promiscuous slut. If you keep it fun, exciting, and edgy – she will forget all her “rules” and be desperate to sleep with you.

STEP 5: Ask for a date.

Remember, the goal of texting is to get the date. You aren’t texting her because you have nothing else to do. We aren’t women and there’s stuff that needs to get done.

Don’t waste too much time chatting with women and get to the part where you schedule a date with her so the fun things can happen from there.

The super simple way to do this to just say:

“What are you doing this Saturday? I’d love to get some dinner with you.”

It’s that simple to ask a girl out.

Note that it doesn’t have to be dinner. It could be anything else you like – coffee, badminton, some kind of class, etc. Up to you, but I’d say keep it cheap and fun. (Not a movie in a theater because you can’t actually talk to her during most of the date then.)

Here’s some examples:

“I wanted to…” is a good line. You are clear and assertive about what you want.
Here I met a girl who was out with her friend. They told me it was her birthday tomorrow. “Do you prefer Indian or Italian?” is me assuming the sale and not keeping ‘no’ as an option.

Note that these are Indian girls in India where the game is slightly harder. Indian women are just as slutty as western women – they are just much better at hiding it.

Heads up that asking for a date doesn’t always work. Sometimes a girl will give you her number but then not want to go out with you.

This is normal and like how not all leads convert to sales, not all phone numbers convert to dates. Don’t beat yourself up over it because it’s a part of the game.

Me getting rejected.

That’s really all there is to approaching women and getting dates.

In summary, you need to:

  1. Approach her from the front, smile at her, and talk to her if she smiles back.
  2. Ask a question or give a compliment. Basically, find an excuse to start a conversation.
  3. Talk to her for 10ish minutes and take her phone number as you leave.
  4. Text her, and ask for a date.

It’s that simple.

As always, if you are bad with women, here are the resources I recommend:

  1. Read The Book of Pook (Old book written before texting and online dating were a thing. Covers mostly mindset stuff. Life changing read for many – including myself.)
  2. Get Seduction Bible (Best modern resource on the subject and regularly updated. I highly recommend this.)

Hope this helps.

Until next time,

Your Man,

Harsh Strongman

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