This might hit too close to home for some but far too many people are in a situation that looks like this:
You make decent money – enough to survive without money worries. You live a comfortable life (couch, TV, food, etc.) and feel so alone. You don’t have a “hard” life by any means but you feel stuck, lonely, and isolated. You feel like life has no purpose and you have no one to turn to.
You are slowly starting to feel more and more like a loser whose life is worthless because you are all alone. You come home from work and just feel sad and empty inside. You wonder what is the “point of living”. You use TV, video games, and other distractions to fill the time…
Ok, if that’s you – things need to change.
Why You Feel Lonely (Stop Coping With Lies)
Humans did not evolve to live alone. We evolved to live in tribes with our families where we regularly interacted with lots of people every day.
You needed to be with the group to survive and if you were without a tribe, you were likely to die. Likewise if you had little to no intimacy with women, you would not pass on your genes and they would disappear.
Over time your brain evolved the feelings of loneliness to encourage you to be with other people (instead of going off alone) and seek intimacy with women. This way your chances of survival and procreation were much higher.
What happens now is that most people spend most of their waking hours alone in their rooms and offices with minimal human interaction.
Many don’t even have one real interaction per day. They go days and weeks without getting out of the house/office routine. (Food delivery apps have made it possible to live like a zoo animal.)
That’s why you are lonely. You spend too much time alone and you are not around people.
Of course you are reading Life Math Money – The #1 Self-Improvement Website for Men so you’re going to get actual actionable solutions to the problem, not “mental exercises” to make you feel better.
If you’re lonely, stop being alone.
You need to go out of your house and be around people. If you are alone then you are bound to feel lonely. This is not a hard problem to fix.
Instead of working from home or a cubicle, work from coffee shops. Take your laptop and do actual work from a coffee shop (seating needs to be indoors and make sure you have a VPN if you use their WiFi).
You will need to do it a few times to get used to working from a coffee shop but once you get the hang of it, you’ll be able to work from anywhere (airports, cabs, etc.). Being able to work from a noisy environment has a huge ROI because it allows you to get things done from anywhere.
Make eye contact, smile, and be willing to interact with people if greeted warmly. Even if you don’t talk to anyone, you will feel a lot better simply by being surrounded by lots of people.
Instead of ordering food from an app, go and eat at the restaurant. This forces you to get out of the house instead of just sitting at home and getting fat. Make sure to pay extra and load up on the protein.
The other advantage is that this rule will make you eat restaurant food far less often because now you actually have to go to the location instead of just clicking buttons on your phone.
Spend time with your friends a few times a week. Go out with your friends 2-3x a week. It needs to be a social activity (not sitting and watching a movie).
I recommend doing things like grilling/BBQ, some kind of sport, exploring your city, trying out a restaurant, etc. It needs to be social.
Note: Your office colleagues and co-workers are not your friends.
If you don’t have friends or have asocial, boring, or nerdy friends, it’s time to…
Make Some New Friends.
You need to have friends who are smart, motivated, ambitious, and have things going on in their life. It’s a damn shame to live a life without the friendship of other winners.
You do not want to hang out with losers because that’s just as bad (if not worse) than being alone. If you’re an LMM reader (high IQ and high ambition) you aren’t going to fit in with losers anyway.
You need to meet new people. How do you meet new people?
Play sports. Join a sports club or go to a ground and play some team sports. You see some people playing football or basketball and ask to join the game.
Sports are a great hobby. It’s good for health and helps you meet fit men for friendship and fit women to date.
Join some kind of class. This depends on your interests and what type of people you want to meet.
For example, if you want to meet a lot of easy women, join a dance class. Feel free to disagree but in my experience women who are into dance tend to be far looser than women who aren’t. Obviously, this does not apply to traditional dance styles.
If you want to meet “smart” people, join a second language class (say learning Mandarin or Spanish). Dumb people aren’t paying to learn a second language, so the IQ filter exists by default.
Join a Toastmasters club or some kind of mastermind. I never did this myself but my friend ArmaniTalks swears by it. You can meet a lot of like-minded and intelligent people through these groups.
Obviously not everyone will be a winner but you can pick and choose who you want to build a relationship with and who stays a mere “hi and hello” acquaintance.
Get a Girlfriend.
You need more than just companionship of men to life a good life. You need a woman/women because we’re not trying to become actual monks here.
Go out on dates. If you can’t find dates in real life, then use dating apps like Bumble – they work really well.
You can either do a relationship with one woman or you can set up a rotation and date multiple women at the same time. I recommend the latter because 1) You get more experience 2) It’s more fun, and 3) It’s easier to manage multiple girls at once because you have more OPTIONS.
If you’re broke, don’t pay for every date. There’s a lot of ways to have good dates without blowing the bank.
When you have decent cash flow from an online business and feel ready for it, you should focus on finding a good woman for marriage.
Understand that women are not “hard”. Some people like to act like women are this mysterious creature that is hard to understand. In reality, women are not complex at all and once you date a few of them, you’ll get that most of them are pretty much alike.
Yes, no two people are the same just like how no two dogs are the same but we all know dogs are not that different. There’s no such thing as a woman who’s “one in a million”.
Most women are maybe one in a hundred. So stop making an enigma out of nothing.
For any woman you date, make sure she’s fun, sexy, non-needy. You don’t want her dumping her emotions on to you every few days – it’s a total waste of your time. Besides, life is too short to be around fat, needy, and boring women. The hole between her legs is not that special.
Fix any obvious superficial issues that you have. If you have stained teeth, get them cleaned. Bad fashion – buy better clothes (you can do this on a budget). Fat and low on muscle – hit the gym.
If you have trouble with dating and getting women, I recommend reading The Seduction Bible (new/up to date) and The Book of Pook (older/dated).
At the end of the day, if you do not learn game, you will have a subpar life because handling women is a part of life. The good news is that once you get it, you get it. Learning game is not that hard, but it does need to be learned (some people are naturals but most aren’t).
Don’t Try to “Cope” With Loneliness.
You want to fix the problem, not “cope” with it. If you implement everything above, you are 100% guaranteed to live an engaged social life and never feel alone and lonely.
That said, while you are on the way, there are pitfalls to avoid.
Don’t watch TV. It’s very easy to feel a little socially engaged by watching TV (includes Netflix, YouTube, etc.). However, it doesn’t actually give you real interaction and makes you dumber and even more boring.
It also messes up your mental models. Watching TV will make you think that it’s “normal” to hang out with 5 other losers in a coffee shop or a bar every day to talk about “life”.
Only losers have time to do that. You don’t want to start absorbing all these loser mental models into your brain and personality.
Don’t take anti-depressants. Depression is an entirely fake and made up “disease” that allows people who have shitty lifestyles to deflect blame onto “chemicals in the brain”.
Depression how they portray it is not real. You do not find it anywhere in history and yet today you have soft people with no hard problems in their life act like they are depressed.
You do not need anti-depressants. Depression doesn’t exist if you are a proper man with working testicles.
Don’t smoke weed. A lot of lonely losers use weed to cope with being lonely losers. You do not want to smoke weed. It does nothing besides making you a lazy, ambitionless, apathetic loser.
Dopamine that you have not worked for is never a good thing. Anything that makes you feel great without you doing work is harming you. This is true for drugs, porn, weed, and a bunch of other things.
Don’t consume internet pornography. Orgasms to a screen is not real intimacy. It is a pure addiction and will never actually fulfill you. Pornography addiction will actually make you feel more lonely in the long run. If you can’t stop watching porn, you need to take Live Intentionally: 90 Day Self-Improvement Program.
In Conclusion
We all get in that lonely phase a few times in life (especially if you’ve just had a breakup). It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.
Something no one tells you is that you are going to get lonely if you are smart and spend your time building online businesses. You will work lots of hours from your computer as a WiFi money businessman which means lots of time alone.
You need to fight against the tendency to become a recluse because it will cause you lots of problems down the line.
If you spend too much time alone you become “weird” – you lose charisma, social skills, and develop a creepy personality with nonsensical opinions. Not a good thing. You need to put in the work to fix it.
Go out a few times in a week, don’t be alone too much, and get a few girls on rotation and you should be all good. Be around people, have fun, and don’t become a nerd.
It’s that simple.
Hope this helps.
Until next time.
Your man,
Harsh Strongman
