From the desk of Harsh Strongman
Subj: Some tough love for the guys asking “Why can’t I find a girlfriend?”
So many guys have little to no results with women and come up with all sorts of cope reasons to explain why they can’t get a girlfriend.
You see it all the time on X:
There are legitimate reasons to not date women. There have been times in my life where I didn’t have sex or even go on a single date for months simply because I was so busy with business.
If that’s you, then this article is not for you. This article is meant for people who want to get a girlfriend but can’t seem to get one.
It’s got nothing to do with money, height, or looks.
You will often hear frustrated and depressed guys say things like:
- I can’t get a girlfriend because I am fat.
- I can’t get a girlfriend because I am ugly.
- I can’t get a girlfriend because I am bald.
- I can’t get a girlfriend because I am short.
- I can’t get a girlfriend because I am not rich.
- I can’t get a girlfriend because of my ethnicity.
- I can’t get a girlfriend because I don’t have enough muscle.
All of this stuff is cope and excuses.
There are people out there who are:
- Shorter than you
- Look worse than you
- Are fatter than you
- Make less money than you
- All of the above
Who date more women than you.
Obviously all of these are real factors that affect your success with dating. If you are not up to par in many of them, you might only find success with 2 women where a higher value guy might date 10.
You do not need to be in the 0.01% just to get one or two girlfriends. No idea why some people act like you need to be perfect just to date girls.
Unless you are SEVERELY lacking in something (eg. dwarfism, morbid obesity, can’t afford to feed yourself) – you can find a girl. These things shouldn’t prevent you from getting one girl.
Of course I recommend getting fit, making lots of money, and actually being a high value male (that is what this website is about in the first place), but let’s be real – you have to do it for yourself, not for women.
Girls are not that hard. You are not looking for fish in the sky. There are women everywhere and many of them date subpar and below average guys.
I was dating women even when I was fat and made less than $1,000 a month.
You might not get a lot of casual sex if you are below average, but you can definitely find a girlfriend.
The Real Reasons Why Can’t Get a Girlfriend
1. You aren’t talking to enough women.
Look, no matter how good you are – if you aren’t talking to women, you’re going to have no luck with women.
A high conversion rate multiplied with 0 prospects equals 0 money.
Same thing applies to women because everything in life is sales. You could be handsome, rich, and tall but if you sit in your room all day and don’t talk to any new women – you aren’t going anywhere.
Here’s what you need to do:
1) Go out more and talk to women. Join a class or something that has lots of women – dance, Pilates, badminton, or something similar.
2) Install a dating app. If you go this route, you need to maximize your looks because these apps are mostly appearance based. Take the Live Intentionally: 90 Day Self-Improvement Program to lose some fat and gain some muscle.
2. You are not masculine enough. Too soy.
You’re the soft nice guy type dude who supplicates to women. You are desperate to get approval from women.
You do everything you can to make her comfortable, you crave female attention, you go out of your way to make women happy.
Smart, sensitive, and in touch with your female side.
You are a feminist and obviously the type of guy women say they want.
This is the problem with the guy who’s tweet I screenshotted above.
What women say they want and what women actually want are different.
Unless you want to be an emotional tampon who she complains to about her “jerk boyfriend” – you need to up your masculinity.
Add some testosterone and confidence in your life. Learn to say no to women. Don’t make women your master.
They are supposed to serve you and make your life more convenient, not become the center of your life and attention.
Learn game or your life will suck.
No matter how rich you are – learning to deal with women is a part of life.
Rich guys especially need to learn game because if not, you will get divorce raped and get half your money taken away. It happened to Jeff Bezos and it can happen to you as well.
3. You are BORING.
If you are a boring person, you aren’t going to have much luck with women.
You can make a woman laugh, cry, anxious, happy, sad, but if you bore her – she won’t be interested in you.
You have to understand that women live extremely boring lives.
Most of them just work a job and do nothing fun. The only “outings” they have is going to restaurants and shopping – not exactly a very fun life.
If you live a fun life, women will extremely into you and will be afraid of you leaving them.
I invited a girl I was seeing to come barbecue with me and some of my friends. She showed up, we got some wood coal and grilled up some corn, potatoes, paneer, capsicum, pineapples, fish and chicken with lots of real butter.
Needless to say, the girl had a lot of fun. But that’s not the point.
The point is that I was not putting in any “extra effort” for a girl. For me this was just another Saturday. Whether she came or not, I would have been grilling some protein with my friends.
She would do everything I wanted because she wanted to be around me and my lifestyle. She was afraid that I would leave her. That’s the power of living an exciting life.
Make your lifestyle much more exciting.
Don’t be the idiot who works, sleeps, and watches Netflix during his entire day.
You have to find outdoor / social stuff you enjoy doing and live an interesting life.
For most girls, being around you should make their life 100x more interesting. They should dread the thought of you leaving them.
The only downside is that it makes it really hard to get rid of girls when you’re bored/want a change because they like being with you so much.
4. You look unpresentable (basic fashion sense, grooming, etc.)
This is an easy issue to fix.
Get your beard done every two weeks and learn basic color matching.
Buy clothes in bulk on the cheap so you aren’t the dude who wears 4 t-shirts in a loop.
Look presentable because women like to show off their boyfriends to their friends and none of them want to be with a guy who looks homeless.
5. Your standards are too high.
Look if you’re not a high value guy, you aren’t going to be dating women who are supermodels.
Exceptions aside, hot women know they are hot and want high value guys. If you are fat and diabetic, you cannot expect the girls you date to be models.
If you not high value yet, focusing on increasing your value and have fun with the girls you can get in the meantime.
The last thing you want to do is completely exclude women from your life because “she’s not movie star hot bro”. If she’s reasonably cute and has a good personality, you can date her for a few months.
If you are fat, you can’t “hold out for a fit girl”. Date what you can while you fix your life.
The dating experience will help you with women later in your life so it’s not a total loss.
6. You’re addicted to porn.
If you’re addicted to porn, you will struggle with women.
Why?
It’s simple – your body doesn’t need women to get orgasms.
Would you go out of your way to cook a meal if you were always full? Of course not.
The same way, if you are always satiated because you watch lots of women have sex and jerk off to the pixels, you won’t have the same desire to chase real women.
On the other hand, if you stop watching porn and masturbating all the time you will have a lot of desire to be with real women.
You will go out of your way to talk to them and you will actually be sexual.
You will start asking girls you like for their number.
Your entire approach to women will change.
Internet porn is the killer of desire. It kills the male instinct to want women. It makes you satisfied without the need of women – so why would you be any good with women?
Stop watching porn and your life will immediately improve.
If you need help to stop, take the Live Intentionally: 90 Day Self-Improvement Program. By the end of the 90 days, you’ll find yourself a completely different man.
That’s all for today.
Until next time.
Your man,
Harsh Strongman
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