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All of the items on this list are from personal experiences (as with everything on this website) and not rehashed braindead internet content like “just be nice and sweet”, so as always this is going to piss some people off.
How to use this list
Treat this list as a list of parameters on a scoring sheet and rate yourself on each of them on a score of 1 to 10 (ten being the highest).
All the items in this list are “attractive” traits, and the opposite of the items in this list would be “unattractive” or “repulsive” to women.
For the items you scored yourself from 1 to 4 in this list, it means that the item is a “repulsive trait” in you and something you need to fix ASAP.
For the items you scored yourself from 5 to 7 in this list, it means that the item needs work but isn’t a huge pain point (it’s neither hurting you nor helping you). You should still fix them but the priority needs to be fixing the repulsive traits.
For the items you scored yourself from 8 to 10, you are doing fine. More work is usually not necessary but you can improve them further if you like.
Again the focus needs to be on first fixing the items that score the lowest on the list because maximum returns come from fixing things that are actually bottlenecking you.
Notes on Scoring
Some metrics are relative to the other men in your local dating market. For example, being 6 feet tall means nothing in Scandinavian countries where it would be average height, but very good in a place like India or China.
At the same time many items work on an absolute scale. Just because other people are morbidly obese does not make being fat any more attractive.
I account for these factors in the scoring system where possible.
Another thing is that we’re not trying to measure your self-worth or “skill level” here. Just trying to measure attractiveness to women. So things can hit 10/10 fairly quickly because women aren’t expecting you to be perfect.
After a certain point, the returns as far as women being attracted to you are concerned are extremely diminishing. And the scoring system accounts for that.
You can go from being quite fit and muscular to even more fit and muscular (i.e. objectively improve yourself) but the score doesn’t move (10/10 stays 10/10) because it makes no difference in the real world.
Likewise, someone who wears well fitting made to measure clothes with the right colors and gets compliments will hit 10/10. If he improves his style, the score stays 10/10 because no more women are being “unlocked” (to put it in video game terms) by these improvements.
Sometimes no good direct measure is available so we use proxy measures… take them with a grain of salt.
Traits in Men That Women Find Attractive (Physical Aspects)
1) Height
The taller you are, the better you will do with women. Unfortunately, there’s not much you can do to change your height so don’t waste time thinking about it and focus on getting the other things right.
Scoring: If you are the average height for the dominant ethnicity in the area you live in, your score is 5. For every 1 inch you are taller, add 1. For every inch shorter, deduct 1.
If you’re a 6 feet 1 inch guy in India, your score would be a 10 (maximum score) as the average height is 5 feet 7 inches. If you move to Denmark, your score would be a 6 as the average height there is 6 feet.
2) Muscularity and leanness
The more muscle you have on your frame, the more attractive you look. Especially in your upper body, and even more especially on the “display muscles” (shoulders, chest, arms, and abs).
Leanness is also a factor here because being leaner makes your muscles look bigger. If you are fat jacked, you are going to score lower even if you have more muscle.
Note: We are not talking about how much muscle you actually have, we’re talking about how muscular you LOOK. This is a piece on how attractive you seem to women, not something trying to measure your intrinsic value.
To improve this metric, train to maximize sex appeal.
Scoring: This will be more of a visual guide.
Note: I am fully aware that worse and better physiques than the examples here can be achieved but the returns are quite diminishing. Looking better than the maximum scoring images here isn’t going to help you that much in terms of getting women because you’re going to look great to pretty much every woman (looking even better isn’t going to improve the quality of girls who will be receptive to you because most of them are already receptive to you when you look similar to the top scoring physiques here.).
3) Leanness and jawline
How lean your face is. The leaner your face, the better you look.
Scoring: If you have a severe double chin that hangs like the images on the left, it’s a zero. As you get leaner, your jawline improves. The guy on the upper right would be a 7. The guy on the lower right would be a 10.
If you have a weak chin or a bad double chin, you can improve your score by 3-4 points by just growing a well groomed beard that hides the flaw.
4) Deep voice
The deeper your voice, the more attractive you are to women. Find any vocal pitch monitor online and talk to it normally and see what your average speaking pitch is (this video provides pretty good guidance).
My own voice is quite high and not very appealing to women. I did hire a vocal coach to improve it and it helped me get my voice down by 1-1.5 notes. Probably not worth the effort unless it’s truly a limiting factor for you (I was trying to improve my voice for podcasting not for girls).
Scoring: Very high voices that sound girly score a 0-2 (depending on severity).
Anyone that would fit a tenor (like Coach Greg) that sounds would be 3-4. My voice would also be somewhere around 3-4 (it is a weak point).
Most average voices (baritone) would be 5-7.
Deep resonant voices like Morgan Freeman would be an 8-10.
5) Ethnicity and skin color
The old guys at WallStreetPlayboys published a full post on ethnicity a long time ago but it’s entirely USA centric as you can see from their chart:
They are fundamentally correct that different ethnicities have different stereotypes associated with them.
Generally speaking, no matter where you live, there will be some ethnicities and skin colors that will be perceived as more desirable than others.
For example, if you are in Asia, being a white European would make you more desirable than being the local ethnicity, and being black/African would make you less desirable than the locals (eg. Chinese people generally do not respect Africans on an individual level and would be very upset if their child was dating an African).
In Europe the French are perceived to be more attractive than Bulgarians. In India, fair skin is a huge premium and calling someone dark skinned is an insult.
Scoring: In general, if your ethnicity/skin is perceived to be desirable in the area you live in (eg. white in the Philippines), the score should be on the higher side (7-10).
If you are the local ethnicity (like a Spaniard in Spain), it will be average (4-6).
If your ethnicity/skin is perceived to be undesirable in the area you live in (eg. Nigerian in China), the score should be lower (0-4).
6) Grooming
Unkempt hair and beard looks bad no matter what style you go with.
Scoring: Hard to come up with one because it goes to 10 the moment you go to the barber and then slides over time. So we use haircut frequency as a proxy measure.
If you get your hair done at least every 3 weeks and keep your beard tidy regularly, it’s a 8-10.
If you get your hair done every 4-5 weeks and let your beard get a bit shabby before trimming it, it’s a 4-7.
If the breaks between haircuts are longer than 6 weeks and your beard gets unkempt, it’s a 0-3.
This scoring system assumes that you have a hair and beard style that actually suits your face. A much better scoring system would be asking a trusted female friend what she thought.
7) Posture and body language
Good posture and dominant body language make you look more attractive. Poor posture and submissive body language make you look repulsive.
If you want to work on your posture, hire a physiotherapist. For body language, there are tons of good books and online guides on it. This piece on how to sit as a man is a good starting point.
Scoring: Start at 5.
If you have erect shoulders, add 2. If your shoulders roll over, deduct 2.
If you have text neck, deduct 1. If your neck is straight, add 1.
If you typically sit in a way that displays your crotch (dominant), add 2. If you close your legs (knees and ankles close together) and hide your crotch when you sit, deduct 2.
If you are someone who is “fidgety” and shakes your legs when sitting, deduct 2. If you are stable, add 2.
8) Dressing sense
Good dressing (colors that go with your skin tone, well fitting clothes) is attractive, bad dressing sense (weird colors, ill fitting clothes) is unattractive.
Scoring: Start at 5.
Fitting: If you wear made to measure or bespoke clothes, add 3. If you get off the rank items altered by a tailor, add 1. If you just wear off the rack with no alterations, do nothing.
Colors: If you consciously dress according to your skin tone, add 3. If you know how to dress for your skin tone but don’t follow it seriously, add 1. If you have no idea how to dress for your skin tone, deduct 2.
Style: If you frequently get compliments on your clothing (at least once a month), add 3. If you occasionally get compliments on your clothing (once every 3 months), add 1. If a girl told you “nice shirt” once and you still remember it, deduct 1. If people say you wear “weird clothes”, deduct 5.
9) Acne and acne scars.
Less is always better.
Scoring: Active major acne breakouts is a 0-3. Acne scars and mild breakouts are 2-4. Major acne scars without breakouts would be 3-5. Minor acne scars by themselves would be 6-8. No acne or scars is a 9-10.
10) Hair
I’ve covered dealing with hair loss it in great detail in this piece here.
Scoring: Full hair is a 10.
That’s it for this piece.
The next piece in this series will cover the personality traits that women find attractive in men.
– Harsh Strongman
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