Can a woman with an intellectual ability have both her career/business to be very successful and a family simultaneously?
This is an interesting question I received from a female reader. I will give her practical advice.
So first of all, the answer to the question is yes.
In fact I know tons of women who are successful with business while also having a family. However there are certain caveats.
Case 1: If by career you mean working an 8 hour corporate office job and by family you mean husband and children, then this is very hard to pull off.
Simply because corporate jobs stress out and tire women out and eat up all their time, leaving them no energy for their home, children, and husband. You will have a poor sex life, not a lot of time and attention for your children, etc.
You have to keep your overall workload (home + career) manageable so you can actually enjoy life and not get turned into a pack mule who works all day but never enjoys the fruits of his her labor.
This is very hard (if not impossible) for most corporate jobs so a full time corporate career is clearly suboptimal.
When was the last time you saw a high power lawyer who was married and had multiple children? Most aren’t married, or are DINK, and very rarely have a kid.
It’s simply too hard to manage so many things at once, not to mention that your fertile years tend to go by as you build your high power corporate career from the ground up in your 20s.
Case 2: On the other hand, if you can do something that only takes a couple hours (say 3-5 hours a day) and especially if you can choose your own hours, then it becomes much more doable.
This could be some kind of work from home job or any internet based business of your choice (as always I recommend social media, copywriting, or web design to newbies simply because they are low risk give consistent results).
Ironically, if you are smart and have balls, you will actually end up making more money than that corporate job. This hobby blog makes more money than most people’s full time living.
I am of the opinion that women should do some kind of economically productive work (i.e. something that pays) because people who do not deal with the outside world become airheads over time. Their ability to handle situations and people declines simply from a lack of use.
For this reason, the typical housewife role where you do nothing at all except for household work is also suboptimal in the long run. Not to mention that doing nothing with your intelligence is a waste of god’s gift.
A practical approach goes something like this:
If your husband has a business -> Help him in his business as much as possible. Try to help with things that bring in more money for the business, not by taking over low IQ clerical work.
If you are single or married to a wage slave -> Learn some kind of skill that you can sell on the internet and build your own part-time business.
If you have no balls and just want to become another wage slave -> Get some kind of degree that makes your labor valuable enough that you can work from home and get paid.
A few things to be careful of…
Make sure you do not lose your fertile years to build your career. It’s very easy to turn 28 with a great income (whether from the internet or from your job) and have no husband and children.
You have to prioritize the husband children first because you have a short period of high fertility that you must capitalize on. The career can scaled built later. Make sure you get married on time (sooner is better and modern parents are too stupid to get it).
Find a man with the right mindset. See this shit all the time. A woman with a business/growth mindset ends up being married to a man with a wage-slave/fixed mindset.
As a woman, your life will always be influenced by your husband to one extent or another (the reverse is also true), and if you have a growth mindset and you marry someone with a fixed mindset, things become very suffocating very fast.
You could hit the gym every day and look sexy as hell, but then come home to a fat as fuck husband who only wants to eat butter naan and biryani all day… which will end up compromising your own fitness goals.
Too much success is a woman’s enemy. This is an interesting thing that most women have trouble understanding. Women are hypergamous. It means they are hardwired to be attracted to men who are better than them.
They want a guy who is taller, smarter, funnier, makes more money, older than them, etc. Very few 30 year old women are sexually attracted to an 18 year old coffee shop waiter but the opposite is not true.
If you start making too much money (good problem to have) it can get very hard to find a suitable match for you. A woman with an online business can make $10k a month at 26 while living in India. How many men who are 27-30 make $10k+ a month in India? Very few. So the pool for potential matches becomes smaller and you have to “compromise”.
I’m not sure what the optimal solution for this problem is but this is something for you to think about. That said I doubt most women have the brains and balls to make $10k a month from the internet at 26 so it might be a theoretical problem (I only know 5 women who have achieved it, and I know a lot of women).
So there you have it. There are all my thoughts about this question.
– Harsh Strongman