Been a while since I did a dating related post so here we go.
As regular readers know, I dated a ton of women before I got married. I was not in relationships with most of them and essentially fucked them all for zero commitment. What the kids today call “friends with benefits” or a “fuckbuddy”.
And I did it all in India, a harder dating market than the west. (If you’re an Indian reader, don’t be delusional about your women. Your girls are just as degenerate as western women – they’re just better at hiding it. Read this to open your eyes to reality.)
This is a guide on how you can do the same thing.
How to Get a Fuckbuddy
Step 1: Find a date
You can either do this with cold approaching girls or you can do it via dating apps like Bumble.
If you get a date via cold approaching, you’ve already shown that you’re a confident dude who can get girls (after all, she’s showing up to meet you).
With dating apps, you need to present yourself as someone who’s a cool guy who gets girls. In other words, you need to look like the person who has fuckbuddies.
If you look like a nerd/boyfriend material, girls will not fuck you without commitment. In fact, they will try to withhold sex as long as possible.
Not to mention that if you look like a nerd, you are more likely to attract older girls desperate for marriage (if you get matches at all).
So take good photos. Here are some examples from the Tea App Leaks.
Notice the 50 most attractive rated photos are:
- Physically fit (Read: How to Build Your Body to Attract More Women)
- Outdoors
- Give masculine vibes
- Doing fun shit like playing with dogs, guns, cars, or in swimming pools
- Well groomed
Notice the 50 least attractive rated men are:
- Overweight (double chin and soft faces)
- Indoors
- Give dorky corporate bitch vibes
- Using a boring selfie picture
- Bald
If you’re trying to get girls from dating apps, make sure you have good photos and that you look fit. Otherwise you will get ZERO matches from decent looking girls (likely no matches at all).
If you’re not fit, take the Live Intentionally: 90 Day Self-Improvement Program and fix your physique. You can’t get girls with no commitment if you don’t have a body they are attracted to. Period.
Step 2: Have fun on the date and fuck her
Try to make sure the girl has as much fun on the date as possible. I don’t mean leading with your wallet and buying her stuff (that has the opposite effect).
I mean:
Keep her talking: The more a woman talks, the more fun she has. Simply the nature of women. They love talking. Just make sure you inject sexuality in the conversation after you make her comfortable otherwise you might get friendzoned.
Take her out to 3 places: I typically did food place, ice cream, then park/beach. Taking her out to 3 places makes her form different memories with you and gets her thinking that she’s known you for a while. You are less of a stranger and thus she will be more comfortable getting naked in front of you.
Note: Some guys have such good game that they don’t need to do this. Like my friend Jay doesn’t even buy a girl dinner. And he’s slept with 250+ women. So get limiting beliefs out of your head.
I have good game but nothing compared to Jay. Chances are you’re someone like me and not someone like Jay, so the “3 places on the first date system” is going to be better for you.
That said, if Jay ever writes about getting a fuckbuddy (which he might on his dating newsletter) I’d be very interested in reading it.
Make her think that you’re a G: And I mean with your deeds and not with words. If you take her out to a club, kiss her neck. If you’re at the beach, take her behind a tree and *smooch* her. Finger her a bit if you can. Trust me it will make her really wet.
Do this on the third location of the date, so you can take her home next.
You need to have plenty of dating experience to pull it off without messing it up. Don’t expect to do this if you don’t even have a few girls under your belt. Without experience, you will appear nervous and it will turn her off instantly.
The long story short is that you need to BE BOLD. If you are meek, it reduces her attraction to you by 50-99%. If you are bold, it increases it 2-5x.
There is no girl out there who doesn’t want to be secretly fingered in a public place. Even the nicest dorkiest girl wants to feel risky pleasure. You just have to be the right person to get her inner sluttiness out of her.
They have to feel safe to do it with you and trust that you know what you’re doing. And the only way you can make her trust you is via confidence that only comes from experience.
Step 3: Completely ignore her for a few days after you sleep with her
Make sure you send her a pleasant text like “I loved going out with you and can’t wait to see you again” on the morning after the date to avoid catching a false rape case. You ignore her after you both exchange pleasantries.
You have to remember the golden rule: Before sex, the woman has the power. After sex, the man has the power.
Now that you’ve fucked the girl, you have the power. You need to see if she’s the type of girl who will be your fuckbuddy.
This is the test: You ignore her for a few days and see how she responds.
If a girl has better options OR is highly damaged (been pumped and dumped too often), she will get what you’re doing and will not respond to you. She will try to contact you once or twice and will move on to a different man.
Such a woman will not make a fuckbuddy.
Whatever.
FDB.
If she tries to contact you over and over again (like multiple texts/phone calls), she is a good candidate for a fuckbuddy.
It means she is interested enough to let go of her pride and send you triple texts. It is GENUINE DESIRE.
A few days later contact her and say you were busy with something (make up something – like travelling or work or whatever).
Step 4: Do a second date and fuck her again
A repeat of step 2. Again make sure she has fun.
Bonus points if you get her wet in public. Kiss and finger her in your car in a parking lot or somewhere else before you get to location 3 this time. Make her really wet and get her heart rate up.
Fingering her in public unequivocally proves to her that you are a dominant high testosterone alpha male. (The main characteristic of a high testosterone alpha is that he takes risks.)
“Who is your master?”
“Who do you belong to?”
“Whose property are you?”
These are all good questions to ask her when you finger her. Make her take your name and make her accept her place as your plaything.
Her natural response to this will be to get even more wet and submit to you.
Note: Do not ask “whose bitch are you?”. The B word makes some women angry and gets them completely out of the moment. Some women *really* don’t want to be called a bitch. I ruined my chances with two different girls over the B word before I learned this lesson. They are OK with being fingered in public but not OK with being called a bitch. Funny creatures.
Then take her home and fuck her good. You have to be good at sex and give her a bunch of orgasms.
If you do not make her have fun on the date and do not fuck her good, she will not be your fuckbuddy.
Remember – the only thing a woman gets out of a friends with benefits relationship is sex, fun, and validation. If you can’t provide that, there’s nothing in it for her.
Read: How to Make Women Obsess Over You
Step 5: Ignore her for a day or two and then tell her you were out with a different girl
A repeat of step 3 but this time you don’t say you were busy, you say that you were out with a different girl.
This shows the girl that you’re not looking for a relationship and that you have other options.
Act nonchalant about it and don’t make it sound like a big deal. It will only be a big deal if you make a big deal out of it, so don’t make a big deal out of it.
Just continue talking with her as normal and set up the next date.
Step 6: Third date is at your house. She has to decide if she’s in or out.
Ask her for a third date. This time, don’t tell her to come to a restaurant or some other place.
Tell her to come directly to your house.
At this point she has to make a decision. She knows you’re seeing other girls. She knows if she goes to your house it’s for sex. She knows there is no commitment involved.
She can either agree to come or refuse. “Fuck or walk” in a literal sense.
If she refuses, she’s interested in dating you but doesn’t want to be your fuckbuddy. You decide whether you want to date her or not.
Not all girls are open to being a man’s non-committal plaything and that’s fine. You win some you lose some.
Final Step: Cement the deal.
If she agrees to come: CONGRATULATIONS, you now have a fuckbuddy.
Make sure you fuck her good because that’s her main incentive to stay in this arrangement.
The bolder you are and the more control you take, the better everything works.
Do everything with her – anal, kinky positions, tell her what to wear, tell her to come in a short skirt wearing no panties, dominate her, spank her, ask her to wear goth makeup, etc.
You both need to have lots of fun for the arrangement to last.
It only works in the long run if you’re her dirty little secret that she’s excited to see as an escape from her boring and frustrating life.
Her job is boring, her life is dull, but she gets to dress up and do all sorts of naughty things with a man she can’t tell her mother about. You have to be her escape from reality otherwise she won’t stick around.
Make sure you keep her fuckbuddy status cemented and don’t slowly creep towards a “relationship”.
This means no hours of texting her, no taking her out to expensive dates, not buying her gifts, no flowers or poems, etc.
Just call her to your house and fuck her in exciting ways. Dress her up, use handcuffs, ropes, outfits, make videos, etc. Have fun, that’s the whole point of this entire thing.
YOU NEED TO LEARN GAME.
To make it all work, you need to have game. If you can’t even get a woman in a relationship with you, you can’t get a fuckbuddy. It is like trying to bench 100kg when you can’t even bench 60kg.
So learn game and get some experience with women.
If you don’t know where to start, here are two of the best resources:
- Read The Book of Pook (Old book written before texting and online dating were a thing. Covers mostly mindset stuff. Life changing read for many – including myself.)
- Get Seduction Bible (Best modern resource on the subject and regularly updated. I highly recommend this.)
Learning game has to be a priority. Otherwise you just become a rich guy with a fat nagging wife, and we all know how that turns out.
The good part is that unlike learning many other things in life, learning game is not hard or grueling. It’s a lot of fun and you will get a lot of pleasure (literally) in the process.
– Harsh Strongman
