Traits Women Find Attractive [PART 2: Personality/Frame Aspects]

Continued from Part 1 where I talk about the physical aspects of attraction.

In this part I will cover the personality and frame aspects of attraction.

1) Boldness and risk taking (Do you have the “it” factor)

Risk taking and a general disregard for rules is the behavioral representation of high testosterone levels. You have “more balls”.

When I say boldness and risk taking, I mean in your personal life, not in your career. Career success is not success with women. Women DO NOT care how much risk you took in your career as long as you make money.

For a woman, $100k you make from a wage slave job and $100k you make from an internet business are both exactly the same. Building an online business is about your freedom, not about attracting women.

I will repeat: Women do not care about your “career” other than what money you’re making.

They are attracted to men who take risks in their personal lives. This is why felons in jail get love letters from obsessed women while the stable beta male with a job gets to marry her at 28 years old or more after men like me have fucked her all across her 20s.

Also, money is not inherently physically attractive to women but more of a logical decision they make but I will get into that more in a later part of this series. The short version is that they sacrifice their desire for other traits if you’ve got money, but their pussies don’t get any wetter for you just because you are rich.

Scoring: Start at 0.

If you’ve cold approached at least 20 women, add 5. If you’ve cold approached 10 to 20 women, add 4. If you’ve cold approached 5 to 9 women, add 3. For 3-4, add 2. For 1-2, add 1. For 0, do nothing.

If you’ve been in a street fight, add 2. If you’ve been in jail, add 3 (if it was for a “weak” crime like shoplifting or sexual harassment, deduct 2 instead).

If you’ve fucked a girl in public, add 5. If not, but you’ve fingered a girl in public, add 3. If none of those but you’ve kissed at least 3 girls in public, add 2.

2) Not needy or insecure / Aloofness (You’re fine whether she stays or leaves)

The more needy and insecure you are, the less attractive you are to women.

This is because by women’s logic, a needy or insecure man means that he has no options, and because he has no options, he must be low value. Likewise, a man who doesn’t give a shit means that he has options, and he must have options because he is high value.

Their logic runs in reverse and this is hardwired in their DNA. All women are primed to think like this.

Scoring: Start at 3.

If a woman sends you a one time view nude photo, and you don’t open it (because it’s one time view), add 2.

If you leave women on read, add 2. If you always reply instantly, deduct 2.

If when a woman tries to get you to do something you don’t want (like “watch a romantic movie with me”), you say “no thanks” instead of worrying that she will leave you, add 1.

If you sometimes worry she will leave you for another man, deduct 2.

If you tailor your speech so that you appear more leftist/feminist in order to keep the peace, deduct 2. If you say things like “I am sexist” and make them come to terms with it, add 2.

If you care about your pleasure more than her pleasure during sex, add 2. If her orgasm is more important to you than yours, deduct 1.

3) Charm and mystery (You don’t speak about yourself a lot)

The more you speak (especially about yourself), the less attractive you become. Talking about yourself a lot destroys mystery. They feel like they know everything about you. If you let them talk, they become more invested in you and you remain an enigmatic figure.

Scoring: Start at 4.

Take your typical dinner date experiences.

If you do most of the talking, deduct 3. If you both talk roughly equally, deduct 1. If she talks more than you (say more than 60% of the talking), add 2.

If she asks you something and you don’t always give her a straight answer (you stimulate her imagination and make her work for the truth), add 3. If you always give bad answers, deduct 1.

“What do you do?”

Bad answers: “I am a consultant at McKinsey.” “I have an online business.” “I work for Google as an engineer.”

Good answers: “I’m unemployed and live off the government.” “I work in the kitchen at McDonald’s” (You should be dressed well enough that all of these are obvious lies).

“How many girls have you dated before?”

Bad answers: The truth. (You should NEVER tell a girl how many women you’ve been with.).

Iron Rule of Tomassi #2: NEVER, under pain of death, honestly or dishonestly reveal the number of women you’ve slept with or explain any detail of your sexual experiences with them to a current lover.

Good answers: “You mean including you?” “500” “You are the first woman I have ever laid my eyes upon” (last one only if it’s clear that you’re not a virgin)

If you occasionally hint at cool things you do (once a date max otherwise you appear tryhard) but don’t elaborate, add 2.

4) Dominance factors 1 (Eye contact, slow voice, and taking up space)

Dominance wets women’s panties. Being wimpy dries them up. In general, if you’re not sure, always do the more dominant thing.

Rule for eye contact: Look at their mouth when they talk and their eyes when you talk.

Rule for voice speed: Slow and deliberate. Pause a moment before you speak.

Rule for space: Always take up maximum space. When you can sit, sit. When you can lounge, lounge. Never “close your body”. Display your chest and crotch with pride.

Scoring: 4 points for each of the 3 items in the list. Be honest with yourself and rate yourself fairly.

If you do it right, 90%+ of the time, give yourself a full score. If it’s a 50-50, give yourself half the score, and if you usually do it wrong, give yourself a 0.

5) Dominance factors 2 (Leading and Commanding)

Rule for leading: Hold her hand and lead her when you guys are out together. Your hand should be on top of hers (your wrist over hers), and thumb on top of hers.

Rule for commanding: Tell her what you want to do instead of asking her to do it.

“Make a pasta for me” is better than “Can you make a pasta for me.”

“Turn around and pull your skirt up” is better than “Can you turn around?”

Scoring: 5 points for each of the 2 items in the list. Be honest with yourself and rate yourself fairly.

If you do it right, 90%+ of the time, give yourself a full score. If it’s a 50-50, give yourself half the score, and if you usually do it wrong, give yourself a 0.

6) Interesting (How much you break the stereotypes)

The more predictable you are, the less attractive you are.

For example, if you tell a woman that you’re an IT software engineer, she will guess that you are nerdy, play video games at night instead of going out, have bad social skills, and are generally a harmless non-aggressive person who prefers safety over everything else.

If that actually turns out to be true, it makes you seem like the more boring stable person on Earth. Useful for marriage after her “wild days” run out, but not something that gets her sexually excited.

This is why it’s so important to create juxtaposition. Juxtaposition is something that is presented together but conveys the opposite message.

In other words, they are parts of your personality that do not fit together into general “personality templates” that people have in their heads.

So if you are an “intellectual” (accountant, engineer, finance, etc.) who lifts weights and has a tattoo, or a “non-intellectual” (like a bartender, electrician, athlete, etc.) who reads and is visibly intelligent and knowledgeable, you break the stereotype.

It makes you unpredictable and exciting and they will try to cling to you to “solve the mystery”.

Scoring: Start at 0.

If you are in an “intellectual” profession, add 2 for each of these items:

• You are visibly muscular (V taper, broad shoulders, small waist)
• You have a visible tattoo
• You train the martial arts (extra 1 point if you have a facial scar or cauliflower ears)
• You perform live in some way (like playing guitar/drums)
• You do risky outdoor stuff like trekking, off-roading, etc.
• You know how to fix things (basic plumbing, carpentry, bike/car repair, how to change a tyre, etc.)
• Your friends tell “wild” stories about you (like getting drunk at a bar in a foreign country and getting lost, waking up with a hooker in your bed, getting lost in a jungle, etc.)
• You have been in a street fight
• You are very calm under pressure (you don’t become jumpy or fidgety)
• You have very calloused hands from manual labor (like working a farm NOT from going to the gym)

If you are in a “non-intellectual” profession, add 2 for each of these items:

• You read a lot (the bare minimum to qualify for this 4 books every 3 months)
• You are familiar with history and can tell interesting historical stories
• You speak in a sophisticated way (not brute language and no slang)
• You quote/reference philosophy in your conversations
• You are able to engage in proper conversation about complex topics like inflation, war, crypto, human nature, etc.
• You have a diary/journal that you update daily
• You do not drink, smoke, or chew tobacco
• You structure your thoughts when you speak (“There are 3 reasons/ways…”)
• You do online courses about topics people do not expect you to be interested in
• You have a deep understanding of your profession instead of merely working in it (eg. a carpenter who knows how and why the tools originated, how people used to do things before them, how factory made furniture is fundamentally different from hand made furniture, etc.)

7) Ambition and Sprezzatura

It is good to be ambitious. Ambition is attractive. But you must make your achievements look effortless (sprezzatura).

Making a show of how hard you work actually makes you look ugly to women. It tells women that you are where you are because of effort, not because of natural genetic talent.

Of course no one can actually be successful without working hard, but women are retarded in this way. This is why you must do the work but not act like you’re hyper focused and always working.

If you want to dry up a woman’s pussy, take up the “serious guy” vibe. No matter what else you have going on, this one thing alone will kill the mood.

On the other hand, if you look like you’re doing well and ambitious but also appear to be aloof/laid-back and act as if success comes naturally to you (and very occasionally show that you put in work), it makes them think that you have something supernatural going on for you (extremely good genes, or God’s chosen child, or whatever) and it turns them on.

Scoring: Start at 5.

Ambition: If you appear quite ambitious, add 2.5. If average, do nothing. If you appear apathetic, deduct 2.5.

Sprezzatura: If you act like all success comes naturally to you, add 2.5. If average, do nothing. If you tend to make a show of how hard you work, deduct 2.5.

8) Unwilling to commit

To quote The Book of Pook:

You should be free as a bird, flapping around, singing, full of joy with life. Women want to ****** the bird and throw it in a cage (cage = commitment).

When birds try to fly into the cage, wouldn’t you think something is wrong with that bird? After all, who wants a bird that WANTS to be in the cage? No, women want the birds that are FREE, WILD, and BEAUTIFUL. They want A GOOD CATCH. Good Catches do not fly into cages. Only wounded or needy birds do.

Scoring: If you present yourself as a nice guy who wants to have a “relationship” and “be a couple”, your score will be from 0-4, depending on severity.

If you don’t mention commitment at all and avoid the topic, the score is from 5 to 6.

If you actively hint that you’re not committed (eg. saying you can’t meet because “you’re out” on a Friday night), the score is 7-9.

If it’s clear that you’re not relationship material from how you look, it’s a 9-10.

9) Respectability (Emotional stability, demanding respect, etc.)

The more a woman can look up to you, the more attracted she will be to you. At the same time, she will keep shit testing you out of insecurity to make sure “you’re still that man” and that she made the right choice.

Scoring: Start at 10.

If you cry in front of women, deduct 4.

If a woman tells you a task you don’t want to do (like “do the laundry” or “wash the dishes” or “take out the trash”) and you do it instead of saying “no”, deduct 3.

If you trade chores for sex, deduct 3.

If you always put her before yourself (e.g. always giving her the best parts of a meal), deduct 2.

If you make a big deal out of “being a man” and doing work (like driving the car), deduct 2.

If you ignore her (ability to withhold attention = power) until she apologizes or put down your foot down and establish boundaries when you feel disrespected, add 2. If you swallow your pride and let it go, deduct 2.

If you let the woman mock you or belittle you in front of others, deduct 3.

If you justify yourself when you say “no” every time, deduct 2.

If you shout at her instead of being firm and calm, deduct 1.

If you change your opinion to match hers because you’re afraid of conflict, deduct 2.

10) Leadership

Women are natural followers. They make terrible leaders. This is why if you go to any high school, you will see the guy who has leadership qualities surrounded by girls. Women do not change just because high school is over.

Scoring: Start at 10.

If you ask “what should we do” instead of proposing a plan, deduct 3.

If she’s getting fat and you’re too afraid to say anything, deduct 3.

If you cancel something important just because a woman wants to “chill” or “talk”, deduct 4.

If her mood decides what you’re going to be doing, deduct 2.

If you let the girl pick which movie to watch, deduct 1.

That’s all for this piece.

In part 3, I’m going to talk about the social factors of attraction.

See you then.

With love,

Harsh Strongman