If you can’t change her, change her.

Read this piece carefully because I’m going to tell you the simple solution to avoiding a lot of pain and suffering in your life.

Let me start with the first two rules of human nature:

1. People are how they are.
2. People will be how they will be.

I will do a full post on this topic in the future, but for now, you need to understand that you cannot significantly alter people’s personality traits.

If someone is highly neurotic, they will continue to be highly neurotic. You can teach them some ways to manage their neuroticism, but you cannot take it out of their personality.

If someone is highly introverted, they will continue to be introverted. You can help them open up and be more social, but they will never become a naturally extroverted person.

People are how they are and there’s not much you can do about that.

Women are like cars. You can improve the tires, fine tune the engine, learn to drive better, and fix some dents. But you cannot turn a sedan into an SUV (and vice versa).

Often in your dating and romantic life, it becomes clear that the woman you’re dating is not the woman you have any long term future with.

This could be for a variety of reasons like:

• Her not being as smart as you like (not much to converse with her)
• Her having a bad personality (argumentative, highly neurotic, anger issues, etc.)
• Her having very low libido (this is a huge negative if you are a red blooded man like me)
• Her not caring much for her health and thus gaining weight and looking like a slob (in other words, taking you for granted)
• Or whatever else. Maybe she was just good for a casual relationship or a FWB setup but she’s not wife material. Whatever.

What men typically do is that EVEN AFTER they realize that there’s no future, they STILL STAY in the relationship out of things like sunk cost and sentimentality.

Either that or because they are afraid that they will not be able to find a different girl. In this case, MUST improve your attractiveness to women and improve your game because that’s the thing that’s holding you back from bettering your life.

They try to change the person and hope that they’re able to make it work.

This is a mistake.

You have to understand that time is limited. It’s your most valuable resource and you need to be protecting it from getting wasted.

If you spend 1 extra year in a relationship with no future, that’s a full year that you will never get back. It’s a mistake.

If you find yourself in a relationship with a girl you already have realized will not work out, CHANGE HER. Break up with her and find a different girl.

It’s better for you and better for her.

Breaking up sucks, but you know you’ll need to do it eventually anyway.

Get it done sooner than later so you can move on with more productive relationships with more compatible women.

– Harsh Strongman

P.S. The same thing applies to everything including your business or career. If what you do doesn’t pay as much as you’d like, don’t waste time and change it.

Start an online business (I recommend The Art of X), or find a different job, or build some kind of supplemental offline income stream. Whatever.

The last thing you want to do is waste 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, or more years on something that will not take you to the promised land.