How to Choose a Wife PART 1: Your Ideal Woman Does Not Exist

Who you choose to marry is the MOST IMPORTANT DECISION you will ever make in your life.

Your life will change forever on the day you marry, and whether the change is for the better or for the worse depends on who you pick as your partner.

A good wife is an asset for life. She will serve you in every way, sexually and otherwise. She will nurture your house, create a positive environment so you look forward to coming home after work, and will be a good mother to the children she gives you.

On the other hand, a bad wife is a hassle and a liability for life. She will make your life hell. She will take far more than she gives and will make you not even want to go home after work.

She might even add legal complications to your life with divorce proceedings and might attempt (usually successfully) to take half of your net worth and a good percentage of your future income as alimony, maintenance, and child support.

Needless to say, this is a decision you need to make with patience, knowledge, and with your eyes open.

A lot of men, especially young men and those who lack life experience, think in terms of ideals. They have an ideal woman in their head and they want to marry her. This ideal woman usually holds the same opinions as him, behaves logically, and acts in a way that he approves of.

The problem with this is that… ideals do not exist in the real world. Only a fool makes his decisions based on ideals because ideals do not matter. The only thing that actually matters when it comes to decision making are real world options and the expected consequences of going with them.

Repeat after me:

IDEALS DO NOT MATTER. IDEALS DO NOT EXIST.

THE ONLY THINGS THAT MATTER ARE REAL WORLD OPTIONS AND REAL WORLD CONSEQUENCES.

The reason I want to begin with this is that many men simply have not learned this lesson, even if it sounds obvious.

They compare every woman they come across with the ideal woman in their head, and all women fall short because the ideal does not exist.

The only things that matter are the real world options available to you, understanding the consequences you can expect with each option you have, and picking the one that gives you the best possible outcome.

For example, if you live in a modern society, and you want a woman who:

• Is a virgin (or close)
• AND can cook
• AND is feminine
• AND is young
• AND is beautiful
• AND comes from a good and powerful family
• AND wants children
• AND is tall
• AND loves you with 100% devotion
• AND will sacrifice her dreams for you
• AND has high libido
• AND does not smoke and drink
• AND is very high IQ
• AND makes a lot of money
• AND has free time to spend with you whenever you want
• AND is frugal
• AND is logical more than emotional
• AND [whatever other trait you like]

…you have too many ANDs.

The probability that you will find a woman who exactly matches your ideal is zero percent. In fact, she does not exist. If you decide that you will only marry this perfect woman, you will stay unmarried forever.

In real life, you pick from the options you have, so you must PRIORITIZE which traits you value over the others. And you must understand the accurate consequences of the traits you pick.

For example, picking a docile and very shy woman seems like a good idea to many men.

However, when they marry them, they realize that many of these docile women are completely dependent on them for everything and cannot even handle basic tasks by themselves.

Some are ok with this, while others regret this decision because the woman not being able to handle basic tasks by herself means that they are responsible for every little thing.

Something not working around the house? YOU have to call the repairman and get it done. She won’t be able to do it.

In this series, I will tell you what traits to look for and what the expected consequences are, and what traits to avoid and why.

However, you are unlikely to meet a woman that fits everything in this series 100%. Some compromises will have to be made because the options available to you will never be perfect.

Where I see fit, I will also mention that the trait can or can not be compromised upon.

What You Can Never Have

There are some traits that often exist in most men’s image of the “ideal woman” that simply do not exist in the real world (or exist so infrequently that they practically do not exist).

Some of these are:

• Women who do not want to follow the female mating strategy. Because ALL women want to follow the female mating strategy to the extent they can. Their ability to execute it depends on their economic, social, legal, and cultural background.
• Women who will love you like your mother did (unconditional love). Simply the nature of romantic love. All romantic love from a woman is conditional. Do not bother looking for a woman who will “always” love you “no matter what”. They do not exist. Some women will stay loyally in love longer than others, but the runway is not infinite. If you do not meet her expectations of performance (conditions) for an extended period of time, she will eventually start to nag you, and at some point want to leave you.
• Women who value logic over emotion. Women like Esther Vilar and Ayn Rand exist, but they are simply extremely rare. The vast majority of women (more than 99.99% of them) value emotions more than they value logic, and you will see it in their behavior and how they communicate with you.

You can find highly intelligent women. You can find tall women. You can find women who come from very powerful families.

But if you look for a woman who reasons like men (logic over emotion), or a woman who loves you unconditionally, or a woman who does not follow the female mating strategy, you will keep looking for the rest of your life.

I know this is painful for many people, especially people who are younger and/or those who have less life experience. This is because they are more likely to chase ideals.

Regardless of your personal feelings and opinions, you must understand that ideals do not matter. Real world options matter.

You have to make the best choice from the options available to you, instead of looking for an ideal, and getting frustrated when no woman you meet seems to fulfill the criteria.

This series will be continued in part 2.

– Harsh Strongman