Advice to Guy Living in a Hostel Surrounded by Losers

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From the desk of Harsh Strongman
Loc: In the War Room near the mountains


A listener to The Unapologetic Truths Podcast hosted by ArmaniTalks and yours truly sent in an important question:

I am 18 years old. I have just started my college and also decided to change myself but here living in the hostel room sharing it’s just too difficult. My hostel mates always make fun of me when I wake up early, run, exercise and study and work all day. I am often made fun in group of student and always classified as boring. I have no friends and always sadly alone in the room either studying or working. I have nothing to do with those students but they still make fun of.

Basically, the guy lives in a hostel and is surrounded by losers.

Some of you younger readers are likely to be in similar situations so this subject is best addressed with a full blog post.

There are broadly two paths in life you can follow.

The Two Paths in Life

The path to freedom, and the path to slavery.

Freedom PathSlavery Path
Own your source of income (business)Work for someone else
Wife that loves youWife that nags and upsets you
Physically fit bodyFat and unhealthy body
Wake up when you want, wear what you want, do what you likeAre told what to wear, forced to show up at your assigned time, and are told what to do
Do not fear speaking your mindWorry about what your boss thinks
Have your own house, car, etc. and no debtIn debt and have loans to pay for house/car you can’t afford
Can go where you wantNeed to ask for leave or “vacation time”
Regular people are jealous of you and may even hate youRegular people like you because you are just like them. You are their ‘buddy’.

The vast majority of people are on the slavery path because the slavery path is easy at first.

You can sleep in late, work very little, slack off in your education phase, never exercise, play video games, etc. – it’s easy, socially acceptable, and the default path most people take.

Your average Joe is not trying to start a business or be fit. He is on his way to living a mediocre life where he works for someone else and watches Netflix in his free time. If he gets married, it will be to some mediocre Jane.

The people on the slavery path are aware of their future but don’t want to work hard.

You, on the other hand, are trying to get on the freedom path.

To get on the freedom path, you have to do things that people on the slavery path don’t need to do – at least at first.

You must study hard, exercise, make good use of your time, and not partake in easy pleasures like drinking, video games, etc.

Those of the slavery path are aware that you’re trying to get on the freedom path and they hate it.

They hate it because it reminds them of the things they are not willing to do.

Winners Get Hated On By Losers

It’s much easier to be a loser when no one around you is a winner. The slavery path choosers chalk off all their failures to external factors like governments, job markets, parents, or just become apathetic and say “who cares”.

When they see someone in the same situation as them put in the work to succeed – it reminds them that they are losers because they choose to be losers. They are lazy and lack discipline – and they want to stop being reminded of this.

So they try to stop you from putting in the work.

Of course, they can’t physically stop you from working hard, so they exert social and psychological pressure.

  • “Only losers wake up so early”
  • “You’re a nerd. You study all day”
  • “You’re so boring. You don’t even watch movies”
  • “What’s the point of life if you can’t even eat this oil puri”

Instead of praising you for your good choices in life (as a friend would do), they try to get you to make worse choices because they are jealous and insecure of you succeeding (they are not your friends).

That’s the raw reality – they are jealous that you might actually succeed in life. They are afraid that if you get successful, they will feel inferior.

They are literally crabs in a bucket.

If they did not care about you, they wouldn’t mock you. They would just ignore you.

The truth is that they care a lot! They are seeing you win and it makes them scared.

No one wants to see someone below them surpass them. Your job is to make their fears come true.

You don’t need to be friends with losers.

People who say you’re boring because you’re working hard are losers. You do not need to be friends with losers.

These people living in your hostel are not people who’s opinion matters.

They have created nothing and achieved nothing – they are where they are because the wind of their parents and society brought them there. They have precisely 0 power and 0 influence over the world.

You only think their opinion matters because you are stuck with them at the moment. In the real world, people would laugh in their face if they thought their opinion had any value.

The only way to be “buddies” with losers is if you decide to forget your dreams and potential and decided to become a loser yourself. Why would anyone want to do that? Put in the work and let them cry.

Reality is REVENGE OF THE NERDS

The reality of life is that in the long run, it’s a meritocracy.

What happens when your college is done?

The loser who didn’t study and played video games all day gets a job that pays $500 a month, is overweight (if not obese), and lacks any marketable skills.

You, on the other hand, get a great job (or start a business right away), have a fitter body, and have marketable skills that you’ve been learning over the years instead of jacking off to porn like the rest of them.

What happens 10 years down the line? Your life gets better and the distance between you and the losers increases even further.

You are significantly richer, freer, and more powerful and they are living like regular people and complaining about the economy.

I GUARANTEE ONE THING: In 10 years, you won’t care about the opinions of the people who are currently around you… at all. Because 1) They don’t matter and 2) They are losers and no one cares about the opinions of losers.

So stop stressing about what the losers think and focus on winning. You MUST get on the freedom path.

It sucks now, and you’ll have fewer friends – but it pays off.

With love,

Harsh Strongman

P.S. A reader Bhuvanyu Sharma got back to me confirming his experience:

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